margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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