garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
where does the pee come out of this thing
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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