You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
