Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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