3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I cockslap morals
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
