honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
