my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
