They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
