I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
