is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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