I just pynch a tree in the face
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
