does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
