Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
