Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
