Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
