Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
