We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
