Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize