Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
