is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
