A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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