my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
