Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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