It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
