My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
