First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize