Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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