I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
