When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
