I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Mom said you looked used
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
