Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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