i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
