Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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