so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
