i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
