That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
