the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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