ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
