you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
