I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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