we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
