that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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