I have demons in me.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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