Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
