omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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