I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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