yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
