I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
