Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
