I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
