my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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