He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
