Sponge bath it is.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
