New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize