Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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