There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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