I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
