Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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