I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
