I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
