He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize