I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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