All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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