i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize