O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
